i’ve always had a lot of feelings. they seem to just come flooding into life – impossible to cover up or keep myself dry with any sort of “keep out” or “I don’t care I’m trying to be cool” attitude. an on-going, never-ending roller coaster of emotions. and i seriously hate roller coasters.
i think when you’re in high school – and even for most of college – you can typically get by with the idea that although you are feeling so many things you will one day, “figure it all out.” a few years ago thanks to a couple cynical relatives i realized that this was total crap and not only was i never going to figure it all out – i was always going to feel like this.
it was right around this time that i also started drawing. it was all about being a smart ass and trying to make my friends and family laugh – often times when things were really sad, but also when they were happy. i guess in hindsight recognizing that i am probably always going to have all these crazy emotions also reminded me that i can grab them by the balls and try to turn them into something i enjoy.
it’s a work in progress – but cheers to hoping we can keep making stuff that makes us all feel a little bit less crazy.
there always seems to be so many things. so many things to do, so many things to see, to read, to watch, to hear and to pay attention too. (there even feels like there are too many things to say about there always being so many things!)
it can be really hard to feel like you are staying centered or balanced or whatever – and to know that you are hustling (like this kind of hustling) and challenging yourself to move forward while also appreciating what’s already around you without getting burnt out. that’s something i definitely haven’t figured out yet – and one of my current things within all the things i tend to struggle with.
we never really know the right way, or right thing to do, do we? i’ve been feeling a lot of uncertainty these days. fear is a powerful emotion and can make you feel all kinds of crazy… but i just try to remind myself that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. plus – i’m making a book! and i’m sure as hell not uncertain about that (nervous, definitely, but not uncertain!)
if you haven’t checked out my kickstarter, you still can! i’ll be selling books for another 7 days.
sometimes you just want to make something that you can also hug, so last week I made my first ‘stuffed animal.’ it’s hand sewn and made out of felt and reminds me of what it was like to have best friends that were stuffed toys. this one is going to my nephew who just turned 1, and then I’d like to make some more and more and more and more.