serial podcast has been over for a couple of months now, and i have to admit i’m still not over it. i wake up on thursday’s a bit less hopeful, definitely less happy, and somewhat disappointed. while we wait for season 2 and try to pretend it’s not the ex you can’t stop looking at pictures of who never told you why it didn’t work out – i’ve compiled a list of my favorite other podcasts i’ve been using as coping mechanisms. (they are actually pretty good supplements!)
i’ve always had a lot of feelings. they seem to just come flooding into life – impossible to cover up or keep myself dry with any sort of “keep out” or “I don’t care I’m trying to be cool” attitude. an on-going, never-ending roller coaster of emotions. and i seriously hate roller coasters.
i think when you’re in high school – and even for most of college – you can typically get by with the idea that although you are feeling so many things you will one day, “figure it all out.” a few years ago thanks to a couple cynical relatives i realized that this was total crap and not only was i never going to figure it all out – i was always going to feel like this.
it was right around this time that i also started drawing. it was all about being a smart ass and trying to make my friends and family laugh – often times when things were really sad, but also when they were happy. i guess in hindsight recognizing that i am probably always going to have all these crazy emotions also reminded me that i can grab them by the balls and try to turn them into something i enjoy.
it’s a work in progress – but cheers to hoping we can keep making stuff that makes us all feel a little bit less crazy.
there always seems to be so many things. so many things to do, so many things to see, to read, to watch, to hear and to pay attention too. (there even feels like there are too many things to say about there always being so many things!)
it can be really hard to feel like you are staying centered or balanced or whatever – and to know that you are hustling (like this kind of hustling) and challenging yourself to move forward while also appreciating what’s already around you without getting burnt out. that’s something i definitely haven’t figured out yet – and one of my current things within all the things i tend to struggle with.
we never really know the right way, or right thing to do, do we? i’ve been feeling a lot of uncertainty these days. fear is a powerful emotion and can make you feel all kinds of crazy… but i just try to remind myself that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. plus – i’m making a book! and i’m sure as hell not uncertain about that (nervous, definitely, but not uncertain!)
if you haven’t checked out my kickstarter, you still can! i’ll be selling books for another 7 days.
that’s basically the main emotion i’ve been feeling today. (the 6 cups of coffee also probably didn’t help).
either way – the first 12 hours of my kickstarter are complete! i managed to get through what feels like the hardest part: actually clicking launch. i woke up at 7am, made coffee, wrote more emails and from 8:59 to 9:01 stopped breathing. and now i can look back and say i’m 39% funded in 12 hours!
i’m so amazed at all of the support and encouragement i got today. the internet is so fucking cool. (and i have some ridiculously awesome friends and family.)