there always seems to be so many things. so many things to do, so many things to see, to read, to watch, to hear and to pay attention too. (there even feels like there are too many things to say about there always being so many things!)
it can be really hard to feel like you are staying centered or balanced or whatever – and to know that you are hustling (like this kind of hustling) and challenging yourself to move forward while also appreciating what’s already around you without getting burnt out. that’s something i definitely haven’t figured out yet – and one of my current things within all the things i tend to struggle with.
how do you find balance within all the things?
i have a 45 degree curve in my spine. well, actually two curves – but the 45 degree one is the bigger one in the lower part of my back. for a long time growing up doctors tried to convince me to get surgery to straighten me out (i.e. put metal rods in my back to support my spine.) something about it never felt right so i put it off for as long as possible.
about five years ago i met a girl sitting next to me on the plane who also had scoliosis but had gotten the surgery. i asked her about it as we both did awkward stretches to relieve our pain on the plane, and she told me that even though she was technically “straight” now, she still had a lot of pain and had to work just as hard to have strength in her back.
i don’t think i realized it then – but this glimpse into her own personal experience helped me avoid back surgery even when it seemed like the only option, and to work towards being stronger and pain free without the metal rods. in retrospect it seems simple and somewhat obvious, but realizing that regardless of what so many doctors said – technically, all of our spines are curved in one way or another and being straight doesn’t necessarily mean being “better.” years later, i still think about this idea – but in so many more aspects of life than i would have ever imagined.